There are so many things going in my life right now. Good things, alhamdulillah. But somehow it seems wrong to write about me when Sharlinie's parents are worried sick since their daughter is still missing. I try to imagine how they are feeling. I try to imagine how the mother is feeling. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.
I lost my son once. In Warta mall in , BB Bangi. I was holding his hand but I released it for a while so that I could pick up things to buy. But I changed my mind and put it back and my hand automatically searched for his hand so that I could hold his hand. Only that his hand was no longer beside me. He was gone. We searched all the shops, up and down for a good thirty minutes. The security guard was informed to look out for a three year old kid.
"Do you think he was kidnapped?".
"No, I think he just walked by himself"
"Can he speak?"
"No he could not speak yet, he just babbles" (he could only talk an understandable sentence when he was about five years old)
My husband who was with me at the time, scolded me, naturally. As if my main responsibility was to have my eyes on the children all the time. I have four at the time, for goodness sake. After 30 minutes of running around looking for him, I heard a loud cry. Oh boy, the only thing he did best at that time (and even now) was to cry at the top of his lung. I bet the whole Warta could hear him. The guard found him wondering in the department store. Initially, he was happy browsing all the candies and sweets. When the guard spoked to him, he realized that we were not with him anymore. That was when he began to cry. We were outside of the department store when he went missing. We searched the department store several times but could not find him. But luckily it was only Warta. Imagine if we were shopping at 1Utama or MidValley.
But that was nothing compared to what Sharlinie's parent are going through. That was only a 30 minutes of panic. For the first one hour, I bet they were still optimistic Perhaps she would come back by herself. During the first 24 hours, I bet they were still confident that the cops were going to find her. The cops were going all out to look for her. Unlike the Nurin's case when the reaction was a little slow. But now, almost two weeks have passed. Nothing has happened.
I will continue to pray for adik Sharlinie's safety and pray that Allah will give strength to her parents.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Missing Girl - Sharlinie
It has been more than 24 hours and she is still missing. I could not imagine what the parents are going through right now. I feel like I want to go out and search her myself. Just like Nurin's case, I begin to look at every child that passes me. At the kids school, I looked out and tried to identify any suspicious looking man or woman. Normally, I would just drive away once all the kids have gotten into the car, but today, I waited until I saw the guard asked the few remaining kids to stay inside the gate instead of outside the gate and pulled the gate closed.
I really feel that the public can do more than just praying and distributing posters. I remember a very famous case in the US many years ago when a very pregnant woman went missing. The public together with the police conducted a search surrounding her area. Her skeletons was found few KMs from the area that they conducted the search (somewhere new a lake - I could not even remember the woman's name). She was found dead but that is beside the issue. Surely we could do something like this. Except in kampung, the public participated in any missing person search is unheard of in the town area (or probably I wasn't aware of any).
I just feel so helpless.
I live in a kampung. Letting the kids play outside unsupervised is a very-very normal thing. If they are not at Cik Nab's house, they are probably at Cik Noi's house, or at Kak Jamilah's house. If I want to call them home I just have to scream "ALONG! ANGAH! Balik!". Now, I wonder if this place is still safe. The Chief police said that there is no safe place anymore. I need to educate my children and myself. We probably have to put up a play date schedule. E.g., Monday, all the kids play at my house, Wednesday at Cik Nab's house, etc. etc. Imagine that. What have we become and what is the future going to be like for our children? Sigh...
I really feel that the public can do more than just praying and distributing posters. I remember a very famous case in the US many years ago when a very pregnant woman went missing. The public together with the police conducted a search surrounding her area. Her skeletons was found few KMs from the area that they conducted the search (somewhere new a lake - I could not even remember the woman's name). She was found dead but that is beside the issue. Surely we could do something like this. Except in kampung, the public participated in any missing person search is unheard of in the town area (or probably I wasn't aware of any).
I just feel so helpless.
I live in a kampung. Letting the kids play outside unsupervised is a very-very normal thing. If they are not at Cik Nab's house, they are probably at Cik Noi's house, or at Kak Jamilah's house. If I want to call them home I just have to scream "ALONG! ANGAH! Balik!". Now, I wonder if this place is still safe. The Chief police said that there is no safe place anymore. I need to educate my children and myself. We probably have to put up a play date schedule. E.g., Monday, all the kids play at my house, Wednesday at Cik Nab's house, etc. etc. Imagine that. What have we become and what is the future going to be like for our children? Sigh...
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Minah Tonggek
My 2.5 year old daughter likes to repeat after me. Like when I scolded her elder brother "Wan, pergi mandi!", she would repeat the same sentence. Siap dengan ekspresi muka sekali dengan tangan mencekap pinggang.
Yesterday, after fetching the kids from school in the evening, I had to drive behind a lady who walked in the middle of road and walked leisurely macam berjalan kat tepi pantai la pulak. Anyway, I said out aloud " eee minah tonggek ni, jalan lah cepat sikit", guess what my daughter said in her 2.5 year old voice "eeee minah onggek ni".
We all laughed in the car. Guess I have to be more careful next time.
Yesterday, after fetching the kids from school in the evening, I had to drive behind a lady who walked in the middle of road and walked leisurely macam berjalan kat tepi pantai la pulak. Anyway, I said out aloud " eee minah tonggek ni, jalan lah cepat sikit", guess what my daughter said in her 2.5 year old voice "eeee minah onggek ni".
We all laughed in the car. Guess I have to be more careful next time.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
This is life...
Going Back To School
Yay! The school break is over. I am sad and happy at the same time. Sad because of the amount of money spend on the children. And happy that they are finally out of the house doing something useful. Shukur alhamdulillah, I have four children going to school this year. The fourth goes to school for the first time, although he is already a pro when it comes to schooling after spending three years in pre-school. Did the gomen said they are going to reduce the school fees this year? I feel it was the same as last year. Anyway, it is still cheaper than last year because this year we don't have to buy books. And I am fortunate enough to be able to pay for everything with little extra luxuries for the kids like nice pencil cases and bags and all the necessary gadgets kids must have in school. However, I do feel for parents who can't even afford to pay the school fees.
My eldest have to wake up at 5:30 am because he needs to catch a bus at 6:00 am. He is already in form two and his school is about 15 KM away. The bus does not stop right in front of our house. You see, we live in a kampung and the big bus needs to cross the small bridge to get to our house. But, the bridge is too small to accommodate the big bus. So my son has to cycle to the big road and leave his bicycle at a nice Pakcik's house near the bus stop. Most of the boys in the area leave their bicycles there for the day before they catch the bus to school. The girls have their parents send them across the river.
The other three kids are still in primary school and sekolah agama. Everything went smooth for everybody this morning except for my number three who always have problem getting up in the morning. He literally sleepwalking to school last year. He is in strd two this year. I thought he would improve this year but I was wrong. I practically had to drag him, rotan his butt few times but he still refused to wear the uniform. In the end, just like last year, I had to dress him up. Immediately after putting the shoes he went back to sleep on the sofa until his van came. His younger brother was boasting to him that at least he took a bath and dress by himself.
I have been doing this for the last eight years, and I have to do this for another 15 years. That is when my youngest going to turn seventeen. My god! I just realize it now that in twenty years I shall be 55. Imagine a 55 year old me driving around sending kids to school. After that, I probably have another five years of sending them to university. By the time all the kids have left home, I shall be 60 years old. Itu pun kalau umur panjang.
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The Apekgate
The apek said he had to resign because Malaysians demand it from him. Because of our "holier than thou" attitude. We demand you to resign not because of our "holier than thou" attitude. We demand it because leaders need to be RESPECTABLE. You cannot kill someone and said I am sorry. My family have forgiven me. And continue with your life as if nothing happen. Even husbands who commit adultery and get caught should not expect that by saying sorry, things are going back to normal again! You made a mistake and things change. How people think of you have changed. I could have said, "yeah I forgive you but next time, don't get caught lah ha". But, how I perceived you as a leader has changed. My confidence is no longer with you. Everytime I see your face, I will say that this is the guy who had sex in the hotel room. I will wonder if he still doing it with his girlfriend and where. I have no longer have respect for this guy and that is why he should resign.
And did he say that the mistake he made was to stay in the same room everytime he went to the hotel. Bloody hell. He still didn't get it. Didn't he realize that the mistake was to commit the sin in the first place.
Apek, go to hell.
Yay! The school break is over. I am sad and happy at the same time. Sad because of the amount of money spend on the children. And happy that they are finally out of the house doing something useful. Shukur alhamdulillah, I have four children going to school this year. The fourth goes to school for the first time, although he is already a pro when it comes to schooling after spending three years in pre-school. Did the gomen said they are going to reduce the school fees this year? I feel it was the same as last year. Anyway, it is still cheaper than last year because this year we don't have to buy books. And I am fortunate enough to be able to pay for everything with little extra luxuries for the kids like nice pencil cases and bags and all the necessary gadgets kids must have in school. However, I do feel for parents who can't even afford to pay the school fees.
My eldest have to wake up at 5:30 am because he needs to catch a bus at 6:00 am. He is already in form two and his school is about 15 KM away. The bus does not stop right in front of our house. You see, we live in a kampung and the big bus needs to cross the small bridge to get to our house. But, the bridge is too small to accommodate the big bus. So my son has to cycle to the big road and leave his bicycle at a nice Pakcik's house near the bus stop. Most of the boys in the area leave their bicycles there for the day before they catch the bus to school. The girls have their parents send them across the river.
The other three kids are still in primary school and sekolah agama. Everything went smooth for everybody this morning except for my number three who always have problem getting up in the morning. He literally sleepwalking to school last year. He is in strd two this year. I thought he would improve this year but I was wrong. I practically had to drag him, rotan his butt few times but he still refused to wear the uniform. In the end, just like last year, I had to dress him up. Immediately after putting the shoes he went back to sleep on the sofa until his van came. His younger brother was boasting to him that at least he took a bath and dress by himself.
I have been doing this for the last eight years, and I have to do this for another 15 years. That is when my youngest going to turn seventeen. My god! I just realize it now that in twenty years I shall be 55. Imagine a 55 year old me driving around sending kids to school. After that, I probably have another five years of sending them to university. By the time all the kids have left home, I shall be 60 years old. Itu pun kalau umur panjang.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The Apekgate
The apek said he had to resign because Malaysians demand it from him. Because of our "holier than thou" attitude. We demand you to resign not because of our "holier than thou" attitude. We demand it because leaders need to be RESPECTABLE. You cannot kill someone and said I am sorry. My family have forgiven me. And continue with your life as if nothing happen. Even husbands who commit adultery and get caught should not expect that by saying sorry, things are going back to normal again! You made a mistake and things change. How people think of you have changed. I could have said, "yeah I forgive you but next time, don't get caught lah ha". But, how I perceived you as a leader has changed. My confidence is no longer with you. Everytime I see your face, I will say that this is the guy who had sex in the hotel room. I will wonder if he still doing it with his girlfriend and where. I have no longer have respect for this guy and that is why he should resign.
And did he say that the mistake he made was to stay in the same room everytime he went to the hotel. Bloody hell. He still didn't get it. Didn't he realize that the mistake was to commit the sin in the first place.
Apek, go to hell.
I WAS THE MAN
I was busy with the children new school year activities that I missed the "I was the man..." confession by Dr Chua. So today, I was shocked when I read the headlines. Like most malaysians, I just love sensational news. So, I read all the major newspapers to understand more about this juicy news. I must say I was quite disappointed. Most papers dealt with who was behind the taping of the video. That was the crime. Him having sex with a woman not his wife was not the crime. Besides, his wife and the family have forgiven him and so should Malaysians.
And the reactions of the other VIPs within BN, said it all. He is forgiven. I know. I know. What he did in his room is his own business. BUT, the conduct of BERZINA to me is a crime. In fact, in Islam, it is considered as DOSA BESAR. But what really got me was that people don't see it that way anymore. We all have heard these stories before, so and so the VVIP was caught with an actress. He did it and was forgiven. Another so and so did it with a minor but found not guilty although if you ask anyone from his state they would reply yeah he did it. And recently he is making a comeback with Puteri UMNO backing him (biar betul....)
Hey, everybody does it. No big deal. Ministers, CEOs, top manangement, middle management down to ordinary people. Everybody does it. It is a common thing. Married men do it with other women, married women do it with other men, it is a common thing.
What has we become? What has our society become? Is this what we are teaching our children. That marriage is just a certificate. That, having sex outside of marriage is also legal!I am angry because what we do reflect our society. It makes me sad because we no longer have a moral standard. Bhg. UMNO from his area is 100% behind him. They support him. They don't care who he slept with and what sin he has committed. That is the true spirit of BN!
And as for the stupid idiot who caught the act on tape. If the intention was to use the tape to drop Dr. Chua's waterface, he should have accused Dr Chua of taping another person having sex and not taping Dr Chua having sex. Haiyaaa.. The rule has changed, you idiot.
And the reactions of the other VIPs within BN, said it all. He is forgiven. I know. I know. What he did in his room is his own business. BUT, the conduct of BERZINA to me is a crime. In fact, in Islam, it is considered as DOSA BESAR. But what really got me was that people don't see it that way anymore. We all have heard these stories before, so and so the VVIP was caught with an actress. He did it and was forgiven. Another so and so did it with a minor but found not guilty although if you ask anyone from his state they would reply yeah he did it. And recently he is making a comeback with Puteri UMNO backing him (biar betul....)
Hey, everybody does it. No big deal. Ministers, CEOs, top manangement, middle management down to ordinary people. Everybody does it. It is a common thing. Married men do it with other women, married women do it with other men, it is a common thing.
What has we become? What has our society become? Is this what we are teaching our children. That marriage is just a certificate. That, having sex outside of marriage is also legal!I am angry because what we do reflect our society. It makes me sad because we no longer have a moral standard. Bhg. UMNO from his area is 100% behind him. They support him. They don't care who he slept with and what sin he has committed. That is the true spirit of BN!
And as for the stupid idiot who caught the act on tape. If the intention was to use the tape to drop Dr. Chua's waterface, he should have accused Dr Chua of taping another person having sex and not taping Dr Chua having sex. Haiyaaa.. The rule has changed, you idiot.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The new beginning....
I not sure who said it, whether it was Jack Canfield or Napoleon Hill, but somebody famous did say we must throw away our thrash. We cannot attract new things when we still keep the old things. (should I throw away my junk car to attract new car or should I wait till I have enough money buy new one???). Whatever.
I think 2008 is going to be a wonderful year and I feel that I should start this year with a fresh start, thus the trash must go away to make room for the good things to come. Although my horoscope and Chinese horoscope predicted that this year is not going to be a productive year and in fact they warned me to be careful blah blah blah, I've decided to believe otherwise. Heck. I am the master of my life. I decide how I am going to live this life and leave the rest to Allah.
So, on the eve of new year, I cleaned my office. At the end of the day, I managed to collect half-a-truck load of garbage. These are stuffs accumulated over seven years (coz this company started seven years ago). Old tender documents which I never won, proposals, quotations, letters to customers, junk, junk, junk, white papers, brochures, company profiles, junk, junk. While sorting out old papers, I found few pieces of papers which reminded me of my painful past. I threw them away too. What is the point of holding to painful memories when I am about to create happy new ones. So, away with the painful memories.
2008 here I come. I am going to be wiser, smarter, bolder, and everything nicer.....
I think 2008 is going to be a wonderful year and I feel that I should start this year with a fresh start, thus the trash must go away to make room for the good things to come. Although my horoscope and Chinese horoscope predicted that this year is not going to be a productive year and in fact they warned me to be careful blah blah blah, I've decided to believe otherwise. Heck. I am the master of my life. I decide how I am going to live this life and leave the rest to Allah.
So, on the eve of new year, I cleaned my office. At the end of the day, I managed to collect half-a-truck load of garbage. These are stuffs accumulated over seven years (coz this company started seven years ago). Old tender documents which I never won, proposals, quotations, letters to customers, junk, junk, junk, white papers, brochures, company profiles, junk, junk. While sorting out old papers, I found few pieces of papers which reminded me of my painful past. I threw them away too. What is the point of holding to painful memories when I am about to create happy new ones. So, away with the painful memories.
2008 here I come. I am going to be wiser, smarter, bolder, and everything nicer.....
The beginning...
Saya tidak pandai menari
Sebarang tari, saya tarikan
Saya tidak pandai menyanyi
Sebarang nyanyi saya nyayikan
Sebarang tari, saya tarikan
Saya tidak pandai menyanyi
Sebarang nyanyi saya nyayikan
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